If you could meet a historical figure, who would it be and why?
Right, there are obviously many to choose from; scooby doo, the ninja turtles, 007. However, i would like to meet a real go getter, a proper monster of power, a great leader, someone educated yet clearly unstable.
So, i have chosen Alexander the great.
I reckon this fella was a proper monster. If he woke up with a hankering for an argument i reckon he went out and slaughtered a town until it was his.
But give him his dues he did study the cultures he conquered. I think that may mean he slept with a lot a ‘local f^ck buddies’ and swigged a lot of the local ale, but at least he tried eh.
As i develope my Dookie character through this series, its geeza’s like this Alex da great that i use to step him up and further his freaky rise to power. Of course i’ll squeeze some Mary Berry and pepper pig qualities into him too mind!!
Also on the short list would be:
Julius Caesar: so i can find out what its like to wear a single wrap around sheet and try and take a dump in public.
Genghis Khan: so i can ask him why, after conquering so much did he not think to name his empire something more fitting (like: grim-death-battleville)
Jesus: to obviously ask him if it was all worth it. You know, the billions killed in his name, the thorny crown that must’ve been a real b!tch and how much did those nails in the feet really affect his water walking. Oh yeah, and does my ‘Hippy Jesus’ depiction in my Dookie novels bother him much! Lol
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