CHARACTER FOCUS
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To start 2025 we’ll being taking a look at one of the ‘bad guys’ of the Dookie series. President Poostinks, or Pooey to his friends. This sack of crap is of course the power hungry, money hoarding, bomb loving, murdering ruler of the Ruskieland region.
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Below is his bio page basic, as printed in Dookie 2: World War 3. We’ll delve in to this freak a little more though and let you know where he is and how he’s doing, etc.
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Poostinks, The Meglomaniac:
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This fella could be compared to the likes of A. Hitler, A. Hun, I. Terrible, Y. Ripper, Dr. Jekyll and of course Drake. He has the ultimate little man syndrome. As a boy, he murdered his primary school teacher because he gave him a B- on a random homework assignment. His parents have been missing since he took control of Ruskieland some years ago.
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Height: 5’6″
Weight: 10stn / 140lbs
Penis Name: Kolbasa
Hair: Balding
Pets: He likes to keep animals, just not as pets!
Political persuasion: Kill kill kill
Likes: To be treated as a god, Bombs, Bombers and making Daisey chains.
Dislikes: Snowflakes, Dookie, Homosexuals, bouncy castles.
Favourite weapons: Nuclear bombs, Salisbury steak, tea, Hands
Confirmed Kills: 1.6 Million
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In Brief:
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This Meglomaniac took control of Ruskieland by winning a scenic photography competition at the age of thirteen. He received his award in the Red Oblong and it was awarded to him by the then President, Navalnie. He stabbed the soon to be a distant memory of a leader with a pencil to the chest. He finished his first confirmed kill off, by strangulation. He then stood on the warm corpse of the deposed and announced his premiership had begun.
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Since the removal of his Ass Demon at the end of World War 3, Poostinks has been in prison for his crimes. At this point, his full charges are still being mounted upon him by Sheriff Dookie, the C.U.N.T’s and of course the Army of Light.
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However, President Pooey has been fully charged and indeed convicted of the false imprisonment, torture and rape of Dookie’s pal, Sausage. His other crime are listed as follows:
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Crimes against humanity
Not wiping properly
Rape of Tumpytump
Unlawul deportation of population
Imprisoning dissenters of his premiership
Theft of Tumpytump’s building blocks and his favorite playmat
Abetting bloodshed in the desert quarter battle of WW3
Theft of Ruskieland gas
Theft of Ruskieland gold
Theft of Ruskieland
Bribery
Murder
Human trafficing
Grooming
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President Poostinks currently resides in a jail cell awaiting a full list of charges and subsequent trials. His cell mate doesn’t like him very much. He also happens to be a homosexual with a high sex drive. President Poostinks is, on top of his legal issues, now awaiting surgery to fix his ripped colon and anal passage, plus he’s sure he’s pregnant with an unwanted jail baby., he is however, just constipated.
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In his spare time (from interagations, unwanted sexual intercourse, being beaten by the guards, etc) Pooey constantly appologises to the resident in the next cell, Tumpytump. However, Tumpytump knows he just wants the rape charges dropped and just ignores him. He’s quite content playing with his building blocks. We’ll catch up with a focus on Tumpytump soon!
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Poostinks will feature in Dookie’s 5th adventure: UNCIVIL WAR
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Checkout President Poostinks online bio from the ‘meet the cast’ setion HERE
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