If this guy gets any more hipster… well. Wearing the all too familiar beard of terrorist and the silly shirt buttoned all the way up with a non-matching equally stupid bowtie, brown cords with Mork and Mindy style suspenders pulling those trousers up just too high, so we all get to see a patch of nasty hair sprouting over the top of non-matching socks and either burgundy DM’s or those ridiculous plimsols, we all hated wearing in primary school P.E. This guy is about as individual as an OralB toothbrush.
Tale of the tape:
5’11”
Identifies as ‘a baby of the planet’
Rides a bike (a second-hand steal at two and a half grand)
Drives the Mercedes his gave him for his birthday at the weekends
Vegan
Loves sausages and M&S chicken
Vegetarian
Powers: lies like a mother fucker
Training: watches Bruce Lee films
Collects STDs
This guys a real man of the people and eco Warrior. Except Saturday nights when he likes to get shit faced on imported spirits, wines and beers. He’s not into all that local microbrew shit, ever since he got a nasty stomach bug that required an entire tree worth of toilet paper to sort out.
Has a large tattoo of a sausage on his right shoulder from a drunken night out in Amsterdam when he claimed his mother’s sausage dinners were the best thing in the world.
Not much else to say about this bell end really. When he grows up and what not he’ll be a decent fella. For now, he works with Tupps on the bakery stall putting holes in the donuts.
Sausage’s updates
After being abducted on a dinner date with Poostinks, Sausage became a ghost. Nothing is known about him, except for a few sightings like the one Hanabanana locked down.
AN UPDATE ON SAUSAGE IS DUE, HOWEVER, HIS THERAPIST WONT ALLOW IT TO BE PUBLISHED YET AS HE IS STILL TOO FRAGILE.
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The No 99 : 99 is the problems hillbilly has, but being inbred aint 1!
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