Jot down the first thing that comes to your mind.
There’s so much on my tiny little mind, where do i begin?
Well lets start with the tease of WW3. Lets face it, we’re all in it already right. Our corrupt leaders either isolate us from foreign news or push a narrative so hard the broadcasters in their pockets may as well break through our tv’s and hit us with a sledge hammer.
No matter the side you’re on or the political sway you lean into, we’re being controlled and bled dry of our cash and rights. The threat of war is getting on my nerves, stealing my cash and my freedoms.
Just get it on already! I’m sick of waiting,hearing about, blah blah f*cking blah!!
So, as our world leaders squabble about crap and oil in posh hotels and private jets, why not sit back, pour a drink, have a smoke, give the world ‘the finger’ and open the pages to the new Anti-hero series that you’ll soon want to follow like a turd sliding down the pipes of a flushing bowl.
To celebrate the release of Dookie 5: Uncivil War, here’s another character bio from the books.
Careful: trigger warning.
Getlan: (edited for internet)
This cracker mother f*cker is off the chain.
Raised by the original O.G. The gangsters all sing about, this lily-white bad a$$ was capping 9’s at age 6 and downing 40’S by his 10th birthday. Mind you, Snoop Dogg did host his 10th and after that bong… young Geth’ didn’t have a clue what was going on til’ he finally got up in that sticky icky icky! Yep. Syrup sponge and custard b*tches!!!!! Snoop still holds out hope he will be around to witness Getlan pop his cherry but times running out now Geth’ hitting his 30’s. Does D.C. hold the key?
Tail of tape.
•5′
•Depressed
•Should’ve been a hipster but couldn’t grow the beard
•Hero: sponge bob
•Not sure but thinks he likes bum fun
•Penis name: what’s the point
•Weapon: chopsticks
•Training: judo albino belt
After the death of O.G. Getlan invested his inherited fortune in what he thought was a new boy band ‘ISIS’. Turns out he f*cked that up. HMRC took the mansion, boats, plane, and lands. The Bro’s n’ Ho’s all bailed. Cleared of any terror activities, Getlan now lives like a monk with a short fuse and kinky obsession for trolleys.
Getlan’s Update, finally!
This fella’s been busy. After years of being part of Dookie’s small crew of dedicated Ass Demon fighters, Getlan’s happy to, finally be a part of something real. He loves being an officer in the C.U.N.T Sheriff’s Department. His secret affair with D.C. has blossomed into a fabulous marriage with not just the love of his life D.C., but his husbands other main f*ck buddies, Lil Riri and Hanabanana. With p*ssy and a** on tap, the Senior Deputy Sheriff can’t think how life could get any better!
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