If you had to be an animal for a week, which one would you be and why?
Firstly, we’ll have to set aside that i am an animal already. At least thats what the Mrs tells me daily when my cheeks clap a flatch out for her nostrils entertainment!
No pleasing some people eh?
Anyways, if i could be a different animal for a day, i’d defo stay away from chicken, pig and cows cuz some greedy f*ck would eat me!!!
So, i’m thinking : Sasquatch!!!!
Maybe i’m real, maybe i’m not, but my lord i’d have some fun.
I’d start the week by cruising some hillbilly town and feasting on the left overs i find in bins. Then, day 2 i’d leave some huge dumps on a few doorsteps. Maybe even tread in it to get those inbred folk to take pictures of my turds and post em’ online. Then i’d trash a few cars on the outskirts of town, just cuz. Then i reckon at the end of my week i’d go all in on taking over the local Denny’s restaurant! I’d stay just long enough for a few people to get pictures of me gobbling down a sh*t ton of pancakes and coffee and then smoking a big fat cigar.
Of course i’d sh*t on the seat before dissapearing. Then, come back outta the woods as my normal self and tell everyone a Sasquatch just touched me inappropriately!!!
Oooh maybe i could stick a Sasquatch in my new book??? What do you reckon guys?
Don’t forget, all Dookie books & comics are for grown ups & come with a trigger warning.
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