If your pet could talk, what would be the first thing it says?
Errrm. Lets pretend i have a pet then ok or this will be a real short blog!
I guess if i was to imprison an animal and call it a pet, it’d be a dog. They’re stupid, cute and you can train em’ to sh*t on your neighbors lawn right?
But what would the mutt say eh??? I’m guessing it would be speaking to me and not some support line about me. So, i’ll throw this out as my suggestion:
“oi you fat f*ck, stop feeding me this tinned crap everyday, i wanna f*ckin’ steak you cheap git!!!”.
And the problem with a talking dog….
They would never stop!!!
“And another thing you damn freak, stop picking up my sh*t! I curl that out everyday for some lucky dog i’d probably be friends with if i were free, to enjoy a good ol’ sniff, lick and even a chew on. But you, ya damn freak, go n bag it up! What the f*ck!! Why!! You got a sh*t kink or what?”
…..
“Wouldn’t mind, but its not like i’ve ever seen you stick one to the fridge to show your buddies how proud you are of me! To$$er!“
