What’s the longest trip you’ve ever taken?
I guess i could say about a few hoidays i’ve had over the years, but really that would be boring and a bit braggy for my nature.
So, today i’ll settle on a ‘long’ trip i had just a few weeks back.
As i wandered down the new promenade on mumbles coastline, minding my own business and looking out towards a few boats in the bay, i almost missed it. A huge curler right in my way! The beast must have been from a great dane or a st bernard, maybe even some mix of the two inter bred with a shire horse! As my periferal vision sounded the alarm to my brain and nervous system to take drastic action in altering my trajectory, my flip flopped feet panicked!
As the pair did their upmost to avoid the steaming pile of fly covered excrement, my left foot caught upon the flop of my right flipper and my knees were quickly called into yet more dire and drastic action. My knees bolted both feet, heroically, into the air and safely nestled them into the warm embrace of my personal cheeky seat cushion.
I took to the air!
My arms flapped out like the wings of a scared golden eagle just shot at from a hillbilly using his mumas favorite 12 gauge. My head thrust forward in a defiance of gravity as it expected to carry my husky 300lbs of body weight forward and into the first, unaided, human flight.
Yet as i gracefully glided through the air and over the mountainous pile, several of the feasting flies from below, flapped their wings and rose as one toward my girthy gut directly above them. Like angels sent from heaven they formed an upsurge in wind from their beating wings that seemed to carry me effortlessly over the swirling, chocolaty peak of my nemesis.
My bulk cleared the hurdle!
I sofly landed upon a 97 year old great grandmother of 6.
Unscathed, i rose like a hero from my screaming crash pad and boldly carried on without a fuss or looking for congratulation.
