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DOOKIE: A COLOURFUL LIFE
CHAPTER 4
Careful; trigger warning / language
(Part 2)
THE SNOWFLAKE REBELLION
Now back home in Dragon Valley, as if just breathing wasn’t hard enough for our hero, the realisation that his life is in ruins is almost too much. He has nothing but a floor his family has lent him to sleep on for a while. He’s on an airbed with two leeks, as if enough air doesn’t come out of his ass during the night eh.
“Better than a cardboard box though.”
He thinks to himself.
Still, he ploughs on with life. A new mission to save some cash so he can go hide the rest of his days in some remote rainforest. Seems like penance. but it’s the only step forward he can take. The only place he sees light.
Then, whilst drowning his sorrows in a bottle of vodka she enters his life again. A meeting years ago had stayed with him. He liked her. He likes her. Let’s cut to the chase, like all good heroes he gets the girl. They form a bond that gives him light and belief once again. Is that happiness he feels? Unlikely as it is, he breathes again. Like a stream becoming a river, life’s blood fills him. Strength. A man reborn. A fat man, but still…. a man.
Now wanting the quiet suburban life, they plan a stress-free existence. Both working shifts and building a new life in a normal town. Our hero lands a ‘job for life’ at a local Hellmart marketplace. They have been popping up everywhere over the past few years and so believe this is it. Mediocrity at its best. He’d stay there treating it as his retirement gig, stress free and happy.
Our hero, Dookie, worked in the security department. Stopping shoplifters and any other punk that thought they could push the staff around at Hellmart. He’d found his calling. Tossing robbing idiots down the steps, choke slamming the odd abusive moron and even taking on a coke head with two rottweilers all in his first few shifts. What a great new way to vent the darkness inside. His time in the corps had put him in a good place to deal with twats, junkies and robbing mother fuckers alike.
For the first few years he didn’t give too much time or concern to the overall attitude of staff at his Hellmart market. Work was work,
“No one’s happy about it, that’s why they have to pay us right”
He always says. But even so, the anally retentive way in which day to day activity was monitored and ‘requested’ was just…… Well, something wasn’t right and it’s getting worse.
They may not be building pyramids at Hellmart but my word they like to make a mountain of stress and work about putting shit on a shelf! And the fact they must pay us to do it doesn’t half fuck them off to no end. Clearly there was something wrong with this place. The moral low ground had become the new normal. There must be some kind of dark forces at work here.
A growing concern became an investigation for our hero. Over time the market came under new management at local and corporate levels and things quickly went from bad to worse. Local staff and customers began to suffer at the hands of the new corporate boss, Di the Dastardly Dick.
=====
Di the Dastardly Dick
Making his fortune over the past thirty years selling socks and willy warmers to retailers worldwide, he sold his business off suddenly right before Hellmart announced him as CEO. Hellmart staff, shareholders and customers alike were hopeful with his appointment at the head of the company.
Tale of the tape:
5’11”
Carnivore
Married with three kids. Two aren’t his, but shh! He doesn’t know.
Penis name: graham
In brief.
Since selling his company he has distanced himself from friends and family who now don’t even recognise the grim figure of a man who stands before them. He now makes so much money as head of Hellmart he has his favourite morning cup of tea blended and flown in each day one cup at a time from India.
===
Di the Dastardly Dick got right in to fucking the business up from day one. Working hours at the marketplaces across the land were slashed yet the number of days staff were expected to work went from five to seven. Contracts of employment changed to, so called, ‘flexible’ contracts so the bosses can tell staff not to come in tomorrow or stay later today. Everything favouring the corporation, never the staff. Many of the long-standing older members of staff were being bullied out the door then replaced by computers or with younger staff who were accepting just 7 hour per week flexi jobs out of desperation to buy food and some sort of shelter.
Prices of everything went up and therefore lifelong customers were forced to shop elsewhere. Soon computers replaced staff wherever possible, even serving customers in some cases!
Management faced changes too. Some of these happened right before our hero’ eyes. Like Miguel, the floor manager. A day our hero will never forget!
Miguel, the floor manager, was a little fella with a big man’s attitude. He would come in daily and publicly berate some underlings like the contract cleaner for instance, just to get his juices going and ensure the stick up his poop shoot was properly lodged in for the day. He would walk around the market twitching his head as if he was about to explode. His arms curved out as if he was carrying invisible carpets as he paced the market. All the staff avoided him like a Covid cough. He seemed very happy and content in himself. The elusive market leader was so proud of him. She would hold a meeting each day so the other managers would applaud him.
Then one day there was a visit. A visit that would change everything for Dookie and Miguel. One of the Corporate higher ups came to the marketplace. Dookie watched this boss type walk the marketplace with Miguel. They went from stall to stall inspecting cleanliness and product offers for some time.
Then the big boss stopped at a tinned food stall and pointed at a stacked can of beans on a shelf. He started crying and shaking in a fit of rage! He then began going mental at Miguel about two specific cans of beans facing the wrong way. Storming off like a toddler in a rage to the back area. He exploded as he entered the warehouse. Growing to 8′ tall with horns protruding from his head and claws for hands! Dookie couldn’t believe it!
Dookie whispers out loud to himself –
“It’s actually true! He’s a demon! Evil runs this joint! It all makes sense now.”
Then Dookie watches on as the demon boss reached down and grasped the floor manager, plunging his grip deep into Miguel’s anal cavity and with a scooping motion he picked him up, stretching his evil arm out to locking point over his horny head. Miguel slid down his arm only stopping just past the elbow! He screamed out in pain and the demonic boss threw Miguel down to the ground.
‘Ooo nobody deserves that’
-Dookie thought.
Then the demon released his internal grip and ripped his arm from the stretched hole. He flicked his shit and blood covered hand over the walls and then stepped back a few paces.
Miguel lay crying and twitching on the floor grasping at his precious bum bum. Then the movement of the sad little man became erratic, squirming and shuddering into a blur, the cameras couldn’t keep up, he was transformed. Like a scene from a Disney movie. The now flaccid, tearful Miguel rose up and spun around at great speed and BOOM! A reincarnation! A new body! No broken bones! No bleeding anus! A miracle! A whole new guy stood before the demon. A scrawny, tall fella wearing ankle swinger trousers and a white shirt.
The new floor manager, Nikel, had arrived!! The demon returned to his human form. He concluded his visit, introducing Nikel to the staff and left the premises.
Our hero had no idea what to do. Who could he take this information to? Who could he trust? He kept it safe and decided to keep building his evidence on it.
Let’s take a look at Nikel.
====
Nikel
A man’s man. Generous as hell. All smiles. He can’t do enough for you. These aren’t the sort of things that are said of Nikel. More like, miserable as sin. Haemorrhoid of a man! Dick wad.
Tale of the tape:
6′
47 years of age
Breast fed until 7 years old
No discernible qualities
Blends his food when at home so he can suck it through a straw whilst swinging in his man-sized papoose
Was reported missing for 9 years but returned around eighteen months ago with no memories of his missing years.
Now married to a discounted mail order bride, Gertrude, who just moved her first husband and three children over from an unspecified country. Nikel sleeps in the garage as there isn’t enough room in his house.
Enjoys competitive cross stitching
Penis name: shames
In brief:
Although he’s always been a mummy’s boy bell end, Nikel used to be a fun-loving scuba diver. Taking holidays to remote beach resorts around the world. Nothing was better to him than keeping it ‘o natural’ on the beach and doing a bit of skinny dipping. But after his best friend, holiday companion and mother, died about ten years ago he clammed up into the reclusive anal prick he has become today. His father bought him the deformed ex-suicide bomber Gertrude as a last-ditch effort to save his child from loneliness but has since given up on his disgraceful son.
===
Over the next few months at Dookie’s Hellmart, the analness had become insane. Half the staff are now forced to ram sticks up their asses to ensure they enforce Nikel’ regime.
-“It’s the rules”
can be heard day and night in the now half empty marketplace.
The rules must be enforced! Bureaucracy has become more important than driving customers to the stalls. The Corporation has installed a huge number of remotely monitored CCTV cameras to ensure the rules are followed and Nikel has his underlings enforce his rule to full effect. Public flogging and shaming of staff who break the rules has become all too normal. Some fight the system, but punishment is hard and fast.
Many staff become too weak to continue the fight back against this tyranny and have been discarded or ‘disappeared’ since the age of Nikel, making it hard for Dookie to form a trusting alliance for his investigations. It wasn’t their fault. Starved from low wages, zero-hour jobs and high food and shelter prices, it was only a matter of time before any resistance collapsed. The remaining staff, forced to live with family and friends as rents and mortgages are a pipe dream of tomorrow, had been beaten into submission and the fresh-faced newbies were all of questionable substance it seemed, ready to recall the cry of Nikel at any point…. “it’s the rules”!!!!!!
Dookie tried to infiltrate the hierarchy of the market, but the amount of ass licking, bold face bullshiting and general fake niceness that was needed to be pointed at the market’s elusive local leader was beyond his capacity. She would only feed on lies and darkness and Dookie just couldn’t do it for fear of falling from the light forever. But if he couldn’t get promoted in this way like all the unhappy lower leaders had, how would he know how deep the evil goes.
Time passes and Dookie’s investigation is stalled like a turd in a back passage. He knew nobody would believe him without proof, so what to do? Then one day it hit him! I bet there’s an app for that! He went online and downloaded the “find a demon” app on his phone and now he could tell who an evil piece of shit was and who was just a twat. Awesome!
He decided to test it out straight away and found that the lower manager holding power over him wasn’t normal. She wasn’t just an utter bitch! He knew for sure now that she was a demon.
Let’s have a quick a look at her and her favourite buddy.
===
Kimy:
The sort of woman you think of as a lady when you first meet her. Then you get to know her and realise that she’s a sadistic bitch who gained her elevated position by pushing her predecessor down a flight of stairs.
Tale of the tape:
5’5″
Blonde
Consumes one piece of toast each day.
Consumes 3 to 7 bottles of red each day.
Must be always seemingly wealthier than the person to her right.
Hobby: creams horses dropping into jars and sells them as perfume online.
===
A proper two-faced demon with aspirations above her stature. She hates Dookie. Any chance to bully him or twist his job to seem as if it is to be terminated, she does. He could see her physically revel in his annoyance. She also had an ogre on her side. The feared by all admin ogre, Hellaina, responsible for many fatalities among the local Hellmarts. Our hero would spend years plotting against them. Using just enough of his bullshiting prowess to annoy them in return. Treating these two demonic twats as sparring partners he built up his immunity to evil day by day during their head on collisions.
===
Hellaina
An utterly horrific twat. Was besties with Miguel as she enjoys the public floggings.
Tale of the tape:
Born. January 1, 1804
5’7″
Enjoys: Nothing
Only eats raw meat
Cried so much as a baby, her parents tossed her over the fence of their backyard where she froze in a winter storm. Found during the 1950’s by builders who were clearing land for a new housing project. She was thawed out and placed in an orphanage. Although they tried to get her placed with a family the crying baby turned into a whining child and then a disgruntled and violent teenager. Still in residence when the orphanage was knocked down in the 1980’s she was forced upon her local community.
Employed by Hellmart in 1981 after her local Hellmart leader saw her maul and permanently disfigured one of his staff for giving out incorrect change.
===
Dookie used the app to view footage he found online and on market training DVDs to discover that the whole corporate level of Hellmart seemed like it was now under demon management. The app also proved the head of Hellmart was in fact the Devil incarnate. He now knew this evil ran through Hellmart from top to bottom.
With so much distrust and fear ruling over the evil empire of Hellmart, entire market divisions were slaughtered by the now all-powerful devils incarnate Dastardly Di the Dick. His temper tantrums and power plays got violently worse and worse. The problem Dastardly Di the Dick was having was being such an evil, money grabbing, power hungry ballbag, that he thinks the rest of humanity is too. But absent to his knowledge is the simple fact; most of Dragon Valley just want a fair deal and a simple life.
Dookie had managed to fly under the radar and just out of Dastardly Di’ gaze. His boss and her ogre buddy fell at the first hurdle, caught up in one of Dastardly Di’ feeding frenzy. Never to be seen or heard from again. Luck! Maybe?
It was hard to find a positive in all this brutality, but Dookie felt a door had been pushed open during all the evil culls. What would this door let in? With the slaughter of tens of thousands of regular staffers and the loss of millions of customers Hellmart was on the brink. What would the king of willy warmers do next? Dastardly Di the Dick had truly ripped the shit out of the markets across the land. Cleaning house almost indiscriminately. Like a scene from a bad 80’s action movie, the blood and bodies were everywhere. How can this be? Surely the lords of Dragon Valley will step in to help.
However, fortunately for our devil incarnate the land is ruled by plundering morons who spend this same time period butchering other parts of the population, especially the low paid, lame, or infirm, so they can keep more power, fame and fortune to themselves. They don’t blink at Dastardly Di’s brutal attacks.
Dookie survives the devil’s next few waves of attacks. Standing tall and fighting back, he sustained injuries yet somehow, he’s safe for now. He tries to help those that were injured in the atrocities, but most are now too weak to fight again. Some have lost their minds to the battlefields and now force out the cry “it’s the rules”, as they are firmly put under the long, thick, pulsating thumb of corporate law.
Finally, after such a long time the devil rests his axe. Dastardly Di the Dick slides on a new warmer for his cold little willy and allows the weary ranks to be replenished. The new staffers would of course have to sign the god-awful flexi contracts in the blood of their own mothers or first born. And thanks to the politicians and corporations hoarding all the money in foreign bank accounts well out of society, there were plenty of desperate souls ready to risk it all at the new style Hellmart.
