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DOOKIE: A COLOURFUL LIFE
CHAPTER 8
Careful; trigger warning / language
DOOKIEBOOKS.COM
HOW BAD CAN IT BE?
Back home our hero wakes from his daytime nap and sits in his beloved, big brown leather chair next to his wife, Shaz. She raises her head from a crossword she’d been working on to look at him.
“So, what stupid shit have you idiots been doing then? You stink of goat shit and I’ve had to wash the clothes you had on twice!!”
She says.
Our hero calmly explains his evening’s activities to her as he finally downs that cup of coffee he’d been dying for hours before.
She replies sarcastically.
“There’s something wrong with you isn’t there? Demons? The Pope? You just
wandered into his plane?!?”
After more back and forth between the couple our hero gets his phone out and shows her the demon app footage from around the marketplace, the private jet and the horrific scene of an actual demonic beast crawling out of poor Nash’ bum hole.
She finally believes him. Not just believes, but thinks she’s seen a picture of a demon type character that looked just like the one that crawled from Nash’ brown star.
Our hero’s good wife goes on to search through her myriad of shit novels, old magazines and cookery books to find one particular article about a businessman that went nuts after embezzling loads of money from clients and then goes on a killing spree before getting run over, but the money was never found.
Shaz claimed the magazine was a freebee off a friend or her mother or something and hadn’t bothered to really read it but remembers the cover story stood out.
She pulls the magazine from the pile and stairs at its cover. Then turns it so her husband can see it too.
An artistic impression of a demon beast is positioned on the shoulder of a man standing with a fist full of cash in one hand and an axe in the other. They both agree that it looks almost identical to the demon that crawled from Nash’ poor little bum bum.
They sit and read the article aloud, taking turns as they sip tea and coffee from their steaming mugs. Maybe it was a true story? Certainly, seems to have similarities to their current situation. Money, power, greed, narcissism.
They track down the author on snowflake book and ask her if this is real and if so can they meet to discuss. The author refuses to meet but discloses that the book was about a friend of hers. She explains that he was run down by a robin reliant attempting to navigate a small roundabout. The three-wheeler crushed him, but as he lay there dying in front of her, she witnessed this creature crawl out of his back passage and make off down a dark alley.
She goes on to tell how, as he lay there grasping at his poop tunnel and gasping his last breaths, he said, all it wanted was money and power and he kept telling her to let everyone know he was sorry.
She had tried to explain this ‘possession’ to the police and even the church, but she was sectioned for six weeks and hasn’t ever come to terms with what she saw or subsequently happened to her.
“Nobody cared! Nobody believed me! Even when I met Cardinal Frank he just laughed at me!”
She exclaimed!!!
“Frank, the new pope? He knew of this?”
They asked.
She replied in length about the new pope frank being in town. Still just a Cardinal when it all happened, he came to see her but didn’t seem to really care.
“He still charged me the £89 consultation fee though! In cash! Greedy bastard”
She ranted.
Our hero and his wife look at one another across the computer screen.
“Frank! It’s him. It’s got to be him at the top! It makes sense doesn’t it”
Our hero proclaims.
They thank the author and retire to the living room to discuss.
They surmise that the new pope frank must be at the top of the evilness ladder. Maybe he knocked off the old one to get the top job.
They do a little research online. They find out that since taking power over the church, he’s been meeting with heads of state and business leaders alike during an epic three-year world tour.
The couple flick through the biggest business leaders in dragon valley and the surrounding lands of crusty gorge and the Gasland empire.
They are shocked to see that most of the big business leaders and politicians are being controlled like Dastardly Di the Dick!
Our hero takes stock of this massive issue. It makes sense to him now. The richest people in Dragon Valley keep getting richer, as the poor keep getting poorer. The rights of workers keep getting diminished as well as their working hours. The once proud support system for the older and unwell is being dismantled day by day. Not to mention the whole land is being consumed by dark thoughts, road rage and a general ill feeling to one another. Crime rises every year yet less and less police patrol our lands.
Our hero sits back in his favourite chair for a while and thinks on how he is going to defeat everyone.
His wife hands him a bacon sarnie and a nice mug of coffee and says.
“I know what you’re thinking…. One at a time babe. One at a time. Now eat
that and shower, cuz you really do stink”
